The Paradox of Perfection

As I write this, I lay in a twin sized bed inside of a room with a moon and stars glowing on the ceiling through the dark. I hear the gentle yet deep breath of little lungs beside me, I feel one of my nostrils that is so inflamed I can barely breathe through it, and I’m wearing jeans that are covered in spilled coffee from hours earlier. Yet, I lay here and I write. Why? Because motherhood is about doing things differently. Moving schedules around, staying up late to write a blog you’ve been procrastinating for weeks, maybe getting up early to catch up on dishes. But ugh, if only things were perfect. If only there were more hours in the day to get things done, if only things weren’t so busy, if only I had more help, if only little mouths used indoor voices and their tiny hands tugged less and I wouldn’t get so overstimulated. If only things were perfect.

I recently caught a cold from my son after I started going back to the gym again and it seems as though every time he visits the child fun center he gets sick and we can’t go back for weeks. Not his fault of course, just the nature of young childhood immunity building. This time my cold turned into a nasty sinus infection and fatigue quickly overtook me.

For organization and sanity’s sake, I keep track of my tasks in my reminder’s app on my phone. Since this ugly infection made its home in my sinuses (which also why don’t they just call it sinus-itis, I think that sounds more fun since it at least rhymes!) I have been moving my reminder that says “Make YouTube video” to tomorrow, over and over again for the last couple of weeks. Yes, it’s because I don’t feel good but it’s also for another reason: I am getting in my own way.

When I was little I didn’t care about what others thought, not in the slightest. But, as some of you may relate, as I got older and went through things in life, I started to care a lot about what others thought which led me to a miserable loop of perfectionism. Instead of doing what I felt was best and what my intuition told me was right, I was living in my head constantly picking things apart and thinking of how things appear to others. I was darned if I did, darned if I didn’t - no matter the circumstance. This perfection has held me back and stolen precious time from me. It forced me to focus on what I couldn’t do and why I was limited.

But then something miraculous happened: I became a mom. Pre-mom Brooke may have been able to convince herself that perfection was attainable, but becoming a mom quickly made me realize that I need to let go of perfection. The house will never be completely clean, at least not for long, I’ll never have “perfect balance” because even when I have a plan, motherhood always seems to have a different one.

Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle immensely with mom guilt and perfectionism to some extent and maybe that’s not all bad because these things can push us to do better. But only if we navigate them in the right way.

Perfectionism can be paralyzing. We focus so much on doing it “perfectly” that if we stop and actually look at reality, we haven’t even started. We think and think and think about how to make things started and we’re so afraid of “doing it wrong” that we don’t take the leap, or even dip our toes in the water a little bit, because we get so focused on making sure everything is “perfect” before we even try.

So, back to this YouTube video creation reminder. Every day I have been putting it off, hugely because of my exhaustion, but there was something more. I felt like I had to wait until everything was perfect. When my voice sounds less nasally, when my face looks less pale, when I have the energy to do my hair and makeup perfectly, when I have a better background set up, and the list goes on.

So, did I make the YouTube video? Not yet. The truth is, I am so exhausted that I fell asleep in my son’s twin sized bed at bedtime and just woke up a few hours later. Even though I didn’t do exactly what was on my never ending to do list, I did what I COULD do and stopped focusing on what I didn’t feel like doing yet. Maybe I will post my first YouTube video once the antibiotics kick in, but for now I am writing a blog in the notes app of my phone and it’s actually quite perfect. I spent the day with my son, he is sleeping soundly, and I am accomplishing something.

Motherhood isn’t about doing it all “perfectly” it’s about embracing the imperfections. Oddly enough some of our imperfections may be looked upon fondly or perhaps laughed about when our kids are grown and recounting their childhood. Maybe it’s the way mom’s breath always smelled like coffee or the knowing glare she would shoot across the room when she knew you were up to no good.

We’re not only moms, we are humans teaching humans how to be human. We won’t get it “perfect” and that’s the beautiful thing about it, if we shift our mindsets from perfection to acceptance.

Instead of focusing on how we wish the living room looked “perfect” without toys scattered everywhere or how we wish the kids wouldn’t get fingerprints all over the newly cleaned windows, what if we accepted it? Not in a way of never cleaning or just letting children run feral, but in a way that allows us to flow instead of getting stuck. Accept that those toys are going to be part of the living room ambience and the fingerprints on the glass are going to make an appearance. Each time you see them, quietly express gratitude that your children have toys to play with and that you have children that are healthy enough to move around and make mistakes, even if you have to break out the glass cleaner. None of this will last forever and that’s the beautiful yet sad thing about motherhood. The things we complain about we may someday miss and nothing will ever be perfect. It wasn’t before you had kids and it won’t be after they’re grown.

Accepting these truths will set you free if you let them instead of keeping you in the paradox of perfectionism which is preventing us from starting something to “protect” us from failure. My advice? Just jump in and do it anyway. I find it helpful to just tell myself something like “I’ll just start and I can always change it later” and often, I end up filling an entire note with blog content or publishing a podcast episode. Are they perfect? No and maybe that’s the point. If more people took the leap and came out from behind their shadow of fear I bet we would be astonished at what beautiful works of art could be seen or what profound words could be written.

About Brooke’s Babbles
Brooke’s Babbles is a podcast and blog where strategy meets soul. Hosted by marketing consultant and creative strategist Brooke, Brooke’s Babbles offers honest conversations, insightful tips, and behind-the-scenes glimpses into the world of small business marketing, entrepreneurship, and real life. Whether you're here for marketing insights, mindset shifts, or a dose of inspiration, you’re in the right place.

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